You know those pictures you see of your parents (grandparents?) in the Seventies, where they parted their hair down the middle, had mustaches, and wore clothes like this?
Yup. And remember that picture of your Mom in a bodysuit and aviator sunglasses that you never stopped making fun of her for?
Taking note of this, I realized that all fashions will be mocked and ridiculed eventually (only to come back twenty years later). Being the time conscious person I am, I figured I would save myself the trouble later and mock all the fashions popular in my lifetime now. I will begin with the unfortunate apparel of my childhood and move on to an objective look at clothes which everyone wears now (and I may even like), but which I am certain will reveal themselves to be quite ridiculous given enough time.
Childhood (2004 on)
Display #1: The Poncho
Oh, yeah. These babies were popular for about two weeks at the beginning of my 5th grade year. Then everyone realized they were ugly. Except me. I think I kept mine for a couple years.
Display #2: The Gaucho
See commentary on ponchos.
Display #3: Crocs
These were always ugly. Even when everyone wore them. In fact, I'd like to speak to the marketing geniuses behind these ones and ask them how to become a millionaire.
Moving on from there to the styles of today which you will invariably make fun of at some point in your life.
Display #4: Uggs
The name says it all.
Display #5: Skinny jeans/jeggings
These were invented to fit into Uggs. And you will make fun of them at some point, because that's just how life goes. You graduate, you get married, you get a job, you have kids, and you make fun of the jeans you wore as a teenager.
Speaking of making fun of jeans...
Display #6: Colored Jeans
'Nuff said.
Display #7 Floral Print
I happen to own and love a floral print maxi dress (we won't get into maxi dresses. They are too near and dear to my heart.), but the fact remains that floral print will be made fun of one day. Look at those flowers. They're just too big to not be mocked.
Display #8: The Wide Stripe
Thank you, dear H and M. What would we do without you?
Display #9: The Bag
"So I didn't actually want a functional shirt..."
And last but not least:
THE UGLY SWEATER!
Lately, I have seen an alarming resurgence of what a mere year ago would have been deemed a very ugly sweater. I'm not sure who thought of this, but to me it represents concrete evidence that the fashion industry is toying with us for fun...and that is uncannily good at it. Whatev.
*Just to clarify, the intention of this post was not to wound your fashion ego. I wear many of these things, and by no means do I think they are ugly...mostly. This was purely an intellectual exercise, and not intended to actually mock anything...mostly. No egos were harmed in the making of this post.*
