Jumping off the Fashion Bandwagon Ten Years Ahead of Schedule

You know those pictures you see of your parents (grandparents?) in the Seventies, where they parted their hair down the middle, had mustaches, and wore clothes like this?

Yup.  And remember that picture of your Mom in a bodysuit and aviator sunglasses that you never stopped making fun of her for?

Taking note of this, I realized that all fashions will be mocked and ridiculed eventually (only to come back twenty years later).  Being the time conscious person I am, I figured I would save myself the trouble later and mock all the fashions popular in my lifetime now.  I will begin with the unfortunate apparel of my childhood and move on to an objective look at clothes which everyone wears now (and I may even like), but which I am certain  will reveal themselves to be quite ridiculous given enough time.

Childhood (2004 on)

Display #1: The Poncho

Oh, yeah.  These babies were popular for about two weeks at the beginning of my 5th grade year.  Then everyone realized they were ugly.  Except me.  I think I kept mine for a couple years.

 Display #2: The Gaucho

See commentary on ponchos.

Display #3: Crocs

These were always ugly.  Even when everyone wore them.  In fact, I'd like to speak to the marketing geniuses behind these ones and ask them how to become a millionaire.

Moving on from there to the styles of today which you will invariably make fun of at some point in your life.

Display #4: Uggs

The name says it all.

Display #5: Skinny jeans/jeggings

These were invented to fit into Uggs.  And you will make fun of them at some point, because that's just how life goes.  You graduate, you get married, you get a job, you have kids, and you make fun of the jeans you wore as a teenager.

Speaking of making fun of jeans...

Display #6: Colored Jeans

'Nuff said.

Display #7 Floral Print

I happen to own and love a floral print maxi dress (we won't get into maxi dresses.  They are too near and dear to my heart.), but the fact remains that floral print will be made fun of one day.  Look at those flowers.  They're just too big to not  be mocked.

Display #8: The Wide Stripe

Thank you, dear  H and M.  What would we do without you?

Display #9: The Bag

"So I didn't actually want a functional shirt..."

And last but not least:

THE UGLY SWEATER!

 

Lately, I have seen an alarming resurgence of what a mere year ago would have been deemed a very ugly sweater.  I'm not sure who thought of this, but to me it represents concrete evidence that the fashion industry is toying with us for fun...and that is uncannily good at it.  Whatev.

*Just to clarify, the intention of this post was not to wound your fashion ego.  I wear many of these things, and by no means do I think they are ugly...mostly.  This was purely an intellectual exercise, and not intended to actually mock anything...mostly.  No egos were harmed in the making of this post.*

Bad (and/or Hilarious) Things Happen When You Actually Read Terms of Use Agreements

So, I'm a dork and was actually reading the Terms of Use agreement for a scholarship website I was making an account for.  Lame, I know.  But I'm just a tad bit paranoid.  What if they send my information to every college and/or spammer ever?  I could never check my e-mail again.  Anyway, I was reading the part that tells you what is inappropriate to do on their site and I came across this little gem:

"You agree that you will not...Create a resume that purports to represent anyone that is not you.  Examples of inappropriate and prohibited resumes include, but are not limited to, resumes that purport to represent an animal, place, inanimate object, fictional character or real individual that is not you."

Oh, dash it all.  The next time I want to create a resume representing an inanimate object, I guess I'll just have to do it the old fashioned way on Microsoft Word.  What‽  What sort of bizarre set of circumstances would drive that to be written into the Terms of Use?  Has someone actually tried that?  If so, to what end?  Instead, I like to think that the lawyers these people hired to write this thing wrote it in because they were super bored and/or hated the people they were working for.  I like this theory because it proves that the website creators didn't even read the agreement that everyone has to pretend they have read to get an account.

As a side note, I will give a very high high five to the first person to come up with a resume for my three inch high heels.  (Skills and Abilities:  Inhibiting walking, breaking ankles, causing blisters.  Position I am applying for: Instrument of Torture.)  The possibilities are endless.

Illustration Friday: Prepare

This is my entry for the wonderful weekly art website, Illustration Friday.  This week's theme was prepare.

‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽

This is called an interrobang.  Meet the interrobang.

‽

Cool, right?  This little baby was invented in the Sixties to replace this thing: "What the?!"  Now you can shout a question or express your angry disbelief with one perfectly packaged punctuation mark.  I discovered it today, and now my life is complete.

Plus, it's just fun to say.  Say it.  Interrobang, interrobang, interrobang.

I am so using this from now on just to confuse people.  But mostly 'cause it's cool.

(For any interested, the keyboard shortcut in Microsoft Word is ALT+8253)

Interrobang.

Something That's Been Going on for Way too Long

Beneath youtube videos with copyrighted material: "no copyright intended."  What?  Did I miss a copyright infringement loophole?

Does Anybody Else See It?

Michael Jackson

Freddie Mercury

When I saw a google image search for Freddie Mercury, I told my dad: "that one is Michael Jackson, not Freddie Mercury."  But lo and behold, it was indeed the latter.  Is it possible that Michael Jackson sculpted himself after Freddie Mercury?  I recieved a similar jolt recently when I first saw this video comparing Bob Fosse and Michael Jackson dance styles.  Observe.

Uncanny, is it not?

I Made a Recipe!

That's right.  I, Christine Haynie, am so advanced in my cooking skills that I have created my own recipe.  Two in fact.  I made dinner for Rachel and I due to the temporary absence of my parents, and she liked it so much that she said I should write it down.  It is a very good meal for a summer day, and I quite like it myself.  Dearest world, here are the recipes.  (And dearest sisters, you really ought to try them.  Especially you Sarah.  The dessert is sugar free.  But not in a gross way.)

Garden Pasta:

Pasta al dente

Olive oil

1 egg per person

Mozzarella cheese

Dash of milk (optional)

Carrots: cut round and lengthwise

Sliced Purple Onion

Sliced, chopped or otherwise broken up green olives

Other colorful vegetables (tomatoes, zucchini, peppers, etc.)

Various seasonings (I used spaghetti seasoning, garlic powder, lime zest, pepper and salt.  Basil would be lovely too.)

Sauté and season onion and carrots and other vegetables friendly to being cooked in olive oil.  Place into separate bowl.  Boil Pasta.  Scramble eggs, cheese, and milk together, removing from heat while they are fluffy and still almost raw.  Toss pasta, eggs, and vegetables (sautéed and otherwise) together.  Serve onto plates and top with olive oil and seasonings (may I highly recommend using more than just pepper and salt?).   If you would like, save out some of the vegetables to place on top.  Enjoy!  (Note: I have not put amounts on the ingredients.  I did not measure them and you do not need measurements.  You know how many people you are serving and how much you like.)

The Fruit Cup Dessert:

Milk

Various fruits (canned or fresh peaches and strawberries work well.  Any other berry would be fantastic as well, but frozen fruit would probably be disgusting)

Lime zest

Fresh mint leaves

Pepper (trust me on this)               

Fill small cups or ice cream dishes with fruit.  Pour in the milk.  Top with lime zest and pepper.  Garnish with mint leaves.

I would have liked to share a picture of the result, but the camera directly at hand was full.  At any rate, the effect was charming as they are both very colorful and summery.  I am thinking that  this dinner would go well with lemonade (the homemade kind).  So, what are you waiting for?  Go ahead.  Try it out.  Make it your own.  See how you like the recipe of your very own friend and/or sister.  Now if only I could learn to make something besides pasta...